Ever since the 1996 movie swingers because a indy classic,(ironically enough the movie has nothing to do with actual swinging), the term swingers have been part of mainstream vernacular. But what exactly is a swinger? Why do people swing? There are many theories. Are they bored with their sex lives? Are they bored with their spouses? Do they dislike their partners? Are they amoral people? Are they hedonists? To understand why couples swing, we have to learn who they are.
We need to define swinging first. In its simplest form, swinging is when one couple gets together with another couple or more, and trade sexual partners. However, there are different levels of swinging. There is soft swinging, where couples only want to have oral sex with other people, and not full intercourse. It can also pertain to a situation where couples stay with their partners, but only the females have interaction. Open swinging is generally defined as couples who engage in intercourse with other people in the same room or bed, thus creating a group, or even orgy situation. Closed swinging is when couples swap partners, and have sex in different rooms. This is often referred to as wife swapping.
Now that we understand what swing is, we can examine why couples do it. First and foremost, they are not the wild and crazy sex fiends that movies have made them out to be. Most couples who swing only do it a few times a year. In fact, according to a study done by Miami University in 2010, only about a third of swingers do it more than once per month. Are they bored with their partners or sex lives? Most of the swingers studied said that they have never been bored with their sex lives. Instead they said they wanted to expand their sexual pleasures, and those of their partners. Apparently, they are so secure in their relationship, that they can share each other. 85% stated that they were happy with their spouse, as opposed to only 54% in the general population. 72% said they were happy with their lives, compared with 46% of the general. 68% said that their marriage was the most important thing in their lives, correlated with a mere 39% of the general public.
Another reason cited by almost all swingers is the social aspect of swinging. It’s not just sex. It’s a party, with conversation and laughing. There are drinks and party favors, and everyone is partaking of the festivities. Having such an intimate experience is a very bonding one as well. Swingers note the friendships they have made, along with the sexual fantasies they have fulfilled. Finally, swingers also say that their relationships have actually gotten stronger as a result of the swinging. Most say that their own Sex Lives also improve, rather than deteriorating.
Who are these swingers? Their careers cut an absolute cross section through society, as no job is not represented. There are doctors, lawyers, accountants, actors, secretaries, and construction workers. In fact, I am a swinger, too. My wife and I have been married for almost six years. Our relationship was always strong, and our sex life was great. One time, when she and I were out at a bar drinking, we met a girl who was flirting with us. We bought her a few drinks, and she started touching my wife’s knee. Then she started touching mine! Now, my wife and I had playfully discussed having a threesome in the past, but it was just silly banter. When the girl went to the bathroom, my wife asked me if I wanted to bring her home with us. I quickly agreed, and we downed another shot. When she came back from the bathroom, we asked her, and she said yes. That was an incredible night! Well, after that, I wanted my wife to have the same experience, but I didn’t want to do anything with a guy, so I suggested a swinging party . She agreed, and we have been swinging ever since. I’ve got to tell you that I have never been happier, I love my wife, and I love my life!!!